Hey Lady! i know i just said this on your comments but i must see you & feel you & taste-y-smell you before i fly away on the 23rd. If the plane goes down i do NOT want my last thought to be..."i never got to see my Jada again before i died!!"
i feel so disconnected & disjointed lately. like i am losing everything & everyone...its all slipping through my fingers like water. (or Martinis.. or Grape Juice!) & i am so very numb sometimes.
am i being silly? should i just let go & let the cards fall where they may? Is it bad that i miss the way everything was? Most of us were unhappier then but we all had each other. Now we are scattered. Or maybe only i am scattered.
In the end i guess i just want all of my friends to be happy. That's all i have ever wanted. i'm really not that concerned abt myself - if i am in between this & that...then good for me but what i really want... i want YOU to live & love & be happy! i want that for all of my friends.
i dunno. i am just venting to you & i am sorry. it is not fair for me to not see you for so long & then just start rambling & blathering on & on & on... & on about stuff.
i miss you.
jb
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Friday, June 08, 2007
yeah - i've got nothing to say...maybe
it is hot & sticky outside today. the air so thick i can barely breathe. Not that it matters all that much - with all the pollen i can't breathe right anyway. Stupid Summer!! At least my freckles come back to visit me. So i guess that's cool. And i get to eat ice cream...unlike every other day of the year. :o.
yeah - i've got nothing to say...maybe.
i've been feeling distracted & disconnected lately. More so than normal that is. All of my friends are just out of arms reach...& my arms seem to be getting shorter. Is this what it is to be an "adult"? If so, get me the fuck outta here! i didn't sign up for this!! Nowhere in the Getting Older Rules did it say i would lose my friends.
Though it has come to my attention that maybe some of the people i thought were friends merely saw me as an extension of someone else. (With the exception of J&J, D, Jadabear, MaryB, Pete & the Mink, ...and Billiam, of course.) But some of the people i spent the better part of 7(ish) years with playing & laughing, hugging & holding, sharing with & listening to, trying to be there for - they've vanished.
& i am left confused & hurt.
i don't want to grow-up anymore.
yeah - i've got nothing to say...maybe.
i've been feeling distracted & disconnected lately. More so than normal that is. All of my friends are just out of arms reach...& my arms seem to be getting shorter. Is this what it is to be an "adult"? If so, get me the fuck outta here! i didn't sign up for this!! Nowhere in the Getting Older Rules did it say i would lose my friends.
Though it has come to my attention that maybe some of the people i thought were friends merely saw me as an extension of someone else. (With the exception of J&J, D, Jadabear, MaryB, Pete & the Mink, ...and Billiam, of course.) But some of the people i spent the better part of 7(ish) years with playing & laughing, hugging & holding, sharing with & listening to, trying to be there for - they've vanished.
& i am left confused & hurt.
i don't want to grow-up anymore.
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