i am my own

i was gonna TRY to be good & write 4 times each month...STOOPID JUNE!!! i dunno if its just that i don't have a lot to say or if i've just been too tired to say it. Eh.

rambling to follow:

so i think i am almost 100% ready for the Tarts & Vicars Party which is to commence in...uh...well, its @ 7:30 pm tomorrow...so however many hours that is! Pete seems a little worried about the turn out but i have a feeling she has nothing to fear. And we ALL KNOW how much i like feeling. :o. Or something like that.

more rambling:

Been a little tense this month. Not sleeping but a few (less than normal) hours every night, i am sure, has something to do with it. And i am learning things about my personality that should be helpful - but they are neither helpful nor harmful. i can't change who i am & i honestly don't really want to try. i don't think i should have to just to ensure i am not alone. i am not a horrible person - just not soft & girlie & alluring & coy. M'not immediately likeable & i think i am OK with that. M'too honest & impatient. & m'good with that too. There is no moderation to my emotions...very little gray area with me. & my life would probably sting a little less if i found a way to be less of some things or more of others but...then it wouldn't be my life. i wouldn't be me.

So this is it folks...this is ME. All the foilbles & idiosyncrasies & emotions wrapped in a quirky tall & skinny (slightly decorated) package.

take it or leave it.

i miss him again

...he scatters my thoughts
and i let him

he twists me in knots
and in the end - i beg 'im...